Friday, 11 March 2016

Walking is overrated

Walking is overrated. It's so cold my hands are freezing but my gloves are in the car. My nose is running and the only tissue I have is one of Nats cast off 'cure all playground injuries' paper towel which is so course if feels like sandpaper and if my nose wasn't so cold I'd probably feel the blood running down my face after my skin has been burred off by the paper towel. My cheeks are rosy, who actually wants rosy cheeks. Natural red raw cheeks actually looks like rosacea, it really isn't pretty. 
My perfectly brushed hair is windswept. It may look lovely on a 6 foot model standing by the beach with a wind machine blowing at her.  Hair blown across my eyes and mouth actually means I nearly crash into mom with 4 kids and 2 pushchairs taking up every inch of the path forcing me into the road infront of a speeding teenager in a Ford Focus with souped up alloys and a dodgy paint job. 
And then there are dog walkers, how much path do they need. FFS missis wind the lead in, your happy Pomeranian Italian long haired whippet schitzu cross does not have right of way. And it really does not want to sit at the road junction no matter how many times you say Holly sit to it. Holly doesn't want to sit to cross the road, she wants to be let off the lead and be allowed to chase the annoying 50cc motorbike that is zooming up the High Street. 
Oh and shall we get started on all the early moms that arrive half an hour before gates open but hog all of the path so nobody can get past. How dare I want to stand the other side of them. I can practically see the 'who does she think she is' thoughts running through their heads as I stand quite a way from them and lean up the wall to rest my aching back & just check out Facebook while I wait. Oh bugger battery flat.

Im forced to listed to the mean girls inane conversation. If only my life was as exciting as theirs I too would be able to discuss this mornings Jeremy Kyle, the new 50 shades movie & how well little Alastair is doing in reading.

Look the teacher is opening the gate & in they surge. It's a race who get in the gates first. Do they not realise 2 pushchairs & a toddler will not all fit at same time. The playground is a dangerous place when you arrive out of routine. Where shall I go? I'm way too early. I don't know where to stand or who to talk to. It's pressure! Thank goodness my sister arrives but she starts to shout at me! Oooops my faults. I'd arranged to take all the boys home with me tonight and I hadn't forgot, I had been thinking how I was going to avoid of one of them getting run over on walk home. Unfortunately my brain hadnt comprehended that if I was talking boys home my sister wouldn't be at school and I had texted her just before phone went flat saying hurry up so she thought I'd forgot!

There is something rather humbling about your little sister berating you over the heads of the other moms! Eventually all 3 boys emerge and the smalls start their daily fight and running over the other side of the playground. Dragging by the hoods we get them out the gates for Nat to fall and burst into tears. Back breaking I carry him to Heathers car where all hell breaks out because Kian sat in the middle. Calm for a just a few mere seconds before Kian clobbers Theo across the face and Theo screams. Nat laughs and Heather shouts at them all! Finally after a short walk home with Nat and Theo I sit in peace whilst I listen to them destroy upstairs. 

Wine anyone?

Let's compare this to me alone in my car. 
Get in car, drive to school singing loudly along to radio. Stay in warm car until last minute. Walk straight onto playground, wait just a few minutes until Nat comes out & we leave with the normal Theo/Nat cousin battle but it's only 30 seconds into car. Arrive home, have a chat with Nat then leave him to play. 

Like I said walking is overrated!

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